Lefties forgotten in world made for right-handed people
COMMENTARY

This week I realized I was born with a disease that most people don’t see as deadly. It’s called left-handedness, and one out of 10 people has it.

The doctors say not to worry, but I don’t want to take any chances if my life is at stake.

Studies have shown that lefties die at a younger age and are more prone to accidents. Perhaps these statistics have something to do with right-handed people conducting the tests. Of course they would alter the information — it’s in their favor to tell us we aren’t as worthy.

Lefties have to learn early that they need to develop skills to function in a world designed for right-handed people.

Language sets the stage for discrimination against lefties. No one wants to hear a “left-handed compliment.” The English word “sin” comes from the Latin “sinistra,” a reference to the left side. The French word “gauche,” like “sinistra” also translates to left. In English, “gauche” means socially awkward or clumsy.

There has been a conspiracy against left-handers for ages and it continues today.

Most lefties learn to adapt by becoming ambidextrous because they are forced to live in a world that caters to right-handed people. But even ambidextrous literally means, “both right.” There’s no escaping it, fellow lefties: We’re doomed.

Moving from language barriers into the college classroom, left-handed awkwardness becomes more obvious.

We never get a good seat in a lecture hall because there are few desks made for lefties.

You’ll find two left-handed desks among 30, if you’re lucky. You can definitely count on lefty desks to stand out with gaudy colors and missing screws. No one else would want to sit there, believe me.

I give props to any lefty who can write without smearing ink all over the page or his or her hand. Writing legibly in a three-ring binder is even more impossible.

Items like camcorders, computer keyboards and mice, bicycle gears, golf clubs, cameras and most musical instruments are designed for right-handed people. It requires a tremendous amount of patience, planning and wealth for a left-handed person to live in a planet of non-left conformity.

Perhaps calling political liberals left-wing is our only true compliment. Also, some of the most creative geniuses are lefties. Look at Ludwig Van Beethoven, Albert Einstein, Leonardo Da Vinci, Michelangelo, Benjamin Franklin and Isaac Newton. Jimi Hendrix even figured out how to string a Stratocaster upside-down.

These men are only a handful of the world’s left-handed geniuses, and many more are coming out. Lefties have proven their brilliance throughout history and have many right-handed people running scared.

I think they have fear that we might take over the planet. After all, there is a lefty born every minute.

Angela Bratrud is a columnist for The State Hornet at California State University-Sacramento.
This column was distributed by U-Wire.