Movies
By Cassie Fauss

I’m sorry, baby, there’s not gonna be any comeback.”

In “Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star”, David Spade’s portrayal of Dickie, a washed-out ex-television star desperate to return to the spotlight, clearly demonstrates that Spade’s own career is in need of a revival.

In the 1970’s, Dickie Roberts was a star. His boyish grin and lovable charm won the hearts of millions of viewers as the quirky kid on the popular sitcom “The Glimmer Gang.” However, his fame became short-lived when a telephone call informed him of the cancellation of the show.

Little Dickie became a washout at the ripe age of six-years-old.

Twenty-nine years later, as a 35-year-old valet, Dickie longs for another chance at the fame he once experienced. As luck would have it, renowned director Rob Reiner (who plays himself) is asked to consider Dickie for the lead in his latest project. Alas, Reiner is skeptical of casting Dickie because he believes that growing up in Hollywood deprived Dickie of a “normal” childhood, hindering his ability as an actor.

Desperate to be a star, Dickie decides to relive his childhood, and moves in with the Finney family. From bicycles to Slip-n-Slides to Water Weenies, the Finney’s children show Dickie everything he missed growing up. As the month passes, Dickie realizes that the fame he thought he wanted is not at all what he needed. So as not to ruin the ending, (if you are at all interested) I’ll leave it at that.

For those of us who know Spade as Chris Farley’s wisecracking sidekick in “Tommy Boy”, “Dickie Roberts” is quite a disappointment. The plot is nothing if not predictable, the serious parts complete sap, and the humor is more appropriate for those who still think burping the ABC’s is funny, than for those of us who have grown to know Spade as witty and sarcastic. This PG-13 flick should be entertaining to those who enjoyed “Spy Kids” and “Lizzy Maguire.”

The film includes cameos by numerous ex-television stars, such as Dustin Diamond (Screech from “Saved by the Bell”), Barry Williams (Greg Brady of “The Brady Bunch) and Emmanuel Lewis (Webster of “Webster”) for the parents. Too bad the young audience members who might enjoy the movie will not be able to recognize any of them.

It was not long ago that Spade was making us laugh as the sarcastic Hollywood Minute reporter on NBC’s Saturday Night Live. His partnership with fellow SNL funnyman Chris Farley also earned Spade’s widespread, comical acclaim. Come 2001, Spade’s attempt to shift from quirky sidekick to leading man in the mildly funny “Joe Dirt” made us question the stars career path. Spade’s second-stab at solo stardom in “Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star” does not leave us much hope either.

Sorry, David. Maybe it is time to start looking for a job as a valet.