Don’t ruin flights for others
COMMENTARY
Jenny Specht

Unfortunately, airplane flights are not road trips. However, my lengthy traveling over the past weekend reminded me that many people utilize the same etiquette they might use on a car trip with their friends — which is no etiquette.

I didn’t mind having my car searched, my bags chemically tested for drug residue, my laptop opened to prove it is indeed a computer or being forced to take off my shoes and be patted down after setting off the metal detector with my spike heels.

I did mind the behavior of my fellow passengers. Such behaviors were so consistent on all four of my flights that I felt the need to draw it to your attention, dear readers, so that you all might avoid being “that airline passenger” who annoys flight attendants and travelers alike.

Such a person first distinguishes him or herself by his or her dress. As I learned long ago in charm school, business casual attire is appropriate for an airplane. The passenger we speak of is, of course, wearing jeans and a T-shirt.

The annoying traveler tries to board ahead of his or her row. He or she skulks by the attendant checking boarding passes, rushing forward as soon as the line for first class has formed.

Messing with the system results in chaos upon boarding. In an airplane’s narrow aisles, it is much easier to file from back to front — thus why the current system was implemented. As the annoying traveler settles into 10B, passengers in rows 11 through 30 reasonably become homicidal.

In any airplane, in fact, space is cramped. However, the annoying traveler has insisted on bringing in two full-size carry-ons. The problem is not necessarily in the carry-ons themselves, but rather how long it takes for the passenger to place it in the overhead bins, stretch, take his or her coat off, talk to the person in the seat next to him or her and then finally sit down.

Meanwhile, a whole line has formed. Most of the line is trying to get to the rows immediately behind. The annoying traveler never seems to notice.

When the long-awaited drink cart finally comes down the aisle to coach, the annoying traveler is always in the row ahead of you. He or she takes the last Dr Pepper on board. He or she then requests tomato juice and the flight attendant must go to the front of the cabin to get some more. You are parched and waiting for water and pretzels.

If food is served, the annoying passenger will be to your right, staring at your vegetarian meal and loudly asking the flight attendant why your meal is different — all the while refusing to make eye contact with you, the wise passenger who knew to reserve a meal in advance.

If the flight is transatlantic or lengthy, the traveler will fall asleep on your shoulder. This actually happened to me for several hours over the Atlantic Ocean, and nudging and shoving did not keep the passenger out of my limited space.

On my return flight, I was seated next to a couple of airline thieves who constantly requested snacks from the attendant, monopolizing her time and then hid the food items in their bags. By my count, they made off with three Toblerone bars, two mini wine bottles and four bags of pretzels.

Naturally, exiting the plane will not be any faster. The carry-on must now come out of the bins and, of course, this traveler will block the aisle.

Need I continue to extrapolate on the tension such passengers cause? I think that most reasonable humans understand my frustrations. Yet, there are always those one or two troublemakers. Next time you fly, make sure this person isn’t you.

Jenny Specht is a senior English and political science major from Fort Worth.