Talking dogs or war updates
COMMENTARY
Katherine Ortega

Like most Americans I support our troops and I have nothing but respect and admiration for these brave people out fighting our battles, for us, and for our country.

That being said, I, like many others, am suffering from information overload regarding the war. Being repeatedly exposed to an aversive stimulus, when the individual has no power to make it stop, can result in depression (wow, I guess these psychology classes are paying off). I think the whole country is at risk of this phenomenon.

Every time we turn on the television, read a newspaper, turn on the radio, or look at a magazine, we receive information about our troops meeting resistance, or having helicopter crashes, or hearing that it is likely Iraq will use chemical weapons. This is disturbing news for even the most insensitive person.

And yet the world keeps spinning, and life continues on as normal for most of us. Seasons have changed from winter to spring and it is time to catch up on this season’s sandal styles. A new season of “The Bachelor” started and baseball season is about to begin, and the NCAA tournament is in full swing.

It is a difficult thing to consolidate the constant barrage of war information with trying to decide what to wear tomorrow or who to pick for the Final Four.

There is a sense of guilt that overshadows events that are supposed to be fun. Oscar winners found it necessary to speak of the war. Sporting events start with a salute to our troops, and “The Star Spangled Banner” seems to have greater meaning now.

We are receiving mixed messages. We are supposed to carry on as usual, but we are not supposed to forget about what is going on.

It is difficult to even find the weather report on the news anymore. But we need distractions in order to keep us from reaching stimulus overload, and we need to take some time to enjoy life’s little quirks.

That is why in the midst of all this confusion, I am happy to report a piece of news that has nothing to do with the war, or politics or protests. A Japanese toy maker, Takara Co. Ltd., has invented Bowlingual, a device that translates dog barks into human language, and it will be coming soon to a Sharper Image or Brookstone near you.

Upon first glimpse, this gadget seems utterly unnecessary. I think if dogs could talk, they probably would not have a whole lot to say. We don’t need a translator to tell us that dogs like eating pretty much anything, licking themselves and being petted.

Dogs do seem to enjoy barking for no apparent reason. One of my neighbors recently acquired a dog that is so big that upon close inspection you are pretty sure it is actually a deer. The dog spends its nights on the neighbors’ balcony, where rather than sleep, it chooses to bark all night. It does not take a rocket scientist, or a Japanese toy designer to figure out that the dog is trying to express its desire to go inside. However, this does not seem apparent to my neighbor. Perhaps all it will take is a $120 gadget called Bowlingual to convince these people to let their dog inside, and let me and everyone else in my neighborhood get some sleep.

Dogs don’t know there is a war going on. In times like these, we need things like Bowlingual, and baseball and even “The Bachelor” to distract us. We must remain aware of what is happening, but we cannot allow ourselves to become too preoccupied by it. We cannot allow our troops to come home to a depressed country that is shell shocked from watching too much CNN.

Instead, we can allow them to come home to talking dogs.

Katherine Ortega Courtney is a psychology graduate student from Santa Fe, N.M.