Campus mentors help others learn to cope with loss
By Bill Morrison
Staff Reporter

Campus mentors gathered Tuesday afternoon to discuss ways to help people handle grief and loss at a Campus Mentor Brown Bag.

Kay Higgins, director of special programs, said the idea of going to war was not a consideration when the itinerary for campus mentors was set in the fall. Higgins said the purpose of the brown bag is to expand campus mentors’ resources for helping people in the community.

“The campus mentors are faculty, staff and students who were identified by students as being natural helpers,” Higgins said. “These people are already talking to people in the community and we are equipping them with resources to better help.”

Speakers, Monica Kintigh, a licensed professional counselor in mental health services; the Rev. Charles Calabrese, the Roman Catholic community mentor; and John Butler, minister to the university, took turns leading the discussion during lunch. Instead of lecturing mentors on how to handle every situation, each person brought up personal examples of how they dealt with various situations involving grief and loss.

Randi Lewis, a sophomore psychology major and campus mentor, said the open-discussion format was helpful because each person brings a different approach on how to handle a situation. She said college is a time of change, and that it is nice to get input from others.

Butler said the most important thing to consider when dealing with someone who is going through grief or loss is that there is no exact pattern to follow. He said it is important to let the person know it is OK to grieve.

“There is no cut and dry solution for dealing with grief,” Butler said. “It is a process. It is important to give permission to one another to make the journey in our own way and in our own time.”

Grief is something that everyone has experienced, Kintigh said. She said experiencing grief and loss is not limited to death but includes a variety of situations, such as having an estranged family member or even losing a pet. When dealing with people who are experiencing grief, people must be sincere in what they say, and must follow through, Kintigh said.

“Loss is something we all experience,” Kintigh said. “When helping someone, it’s not what you do. It’s what you did after you do that.”

w.c.morrison@tcu.edu