Being oblivious isn’t that bad
Capri pants, Jack balls, ankle socks continue in trendy (stupid) list

By Laura Head
Managing Editor

With summer approaching faster than one of those stupid scooters, college students nationwide are preparing themselves for yet another three months of crappy internships, crappy pay and, basically, the same crap as last summer: antenna toppers, capri pants and ankle socks.

The only difference is I’ve finally realized this crap is trendy.

Somewhere along the line, people forgot to mention to me that ankle socks are cool again. You might be thinking: “Are you kidding me? What with her stellar social life that includes one night a month at the local bowling alley, surely Laura, of all people, would be hip to the latest trends!”

I kid you not. I was oblivious to what you kids are doing these days until just last week, when I went to The Pub for the first time.

There I was, mingling with the local “in-crowd” and listening to some character sing about his sweetie, Caroline, when I suddenly felt my compadres staring at my socks. They were of the (gasp!) Wal-Mart brand athletic variety!

One friend politely pulled me aside to whisper, “Hey Loser, those socks are, like, so last season.”

That’s what friends are for.

So, once I was down with the proverbial “g-funk,” I worked up the courage to ask my friend about capri pants, or as I called them, “Oops-I-had-a-growth-spurt” pants. It turns out, those pants are supposed to be that way! But here’s the catch that so many girls don’t seem to get: Capri pants don’t look good on everyone, especially people with squatty legs and dumpy hind-quarters. Hey, I don’t make the rules; I just follow them.

On to the next stumper: antenna balls. It all started with Jack In the Box. Somebody (I have reason to doubt Mr. In the Box came up with this himself) came up with the marketing plan that involves foam balls and car antennae, which is perhaps the strangest combo deal I’ve ever heard of. People would never put a fast food bumper sticker on their car, so aha! Now people can advertise their most recent drive-thru experience on their car antenna.

It makes perfect sense in one of those “Like hell it does!” sort of ways.

Unfortunately, his antenna ball trend spread to both of the legally parked cars on campus, and it’s gotten hold of almost every car South of Interstate 30, North of Berry Street, East of McCart Avenue and West of Hulen Street: the area also known as the Center of the Universe.

There are antennae with Normal Jack, Millennium Jack, Jumpin’ Jack, Don’t Know Jack and Hi Jack. The most recent release, Black Jack, had to be recalled because police in Cincinnati shot an antenna off an armored truck. Seems the officers saw the word “armored” so close to the Black Jack, and they got scared.

Even though these fads will probably last about as long as Billy Ray Cyrus’ popularity, it’s still good to know what’s hip.

Now that my friends have taught me all about this crap, it’s time to get myself a crappy internship. I may not have any job skills (thank you journalism department), but at least I have these socks.

Managing Editor Laura Head is a senior news-editorial journalism major from Shreveport, La.
She can be reached at (l.a.head@student.tcu.edu).

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