Relating
Students discuss relationships at forum

By Jaime Walker
Senior News Editor

Most TCU students would agree on two things when it comes to relationships. No one really knows anything, and there should be a class or a manual.

Tuesday night students gathered in the Student Center Lounge to discuss the one subject universally perplexing to all college students — dating and relationships.

Relationships 101, sponsored by the National Pan-Hellenic Council as part of TCU’s celebration of Black History Month, provided students with an open forum to discuss all things good, bad, harmonious or dysfunctional about dating.

Artist Thornton, MiltonDaniel Hall director and NPHC adviser, moderated the event. He said relationships are never easy, but sometimes the best way to make those experiences more meaningful is to share them.

“Every situation is different,” he said. “But all (of) those interactions have a common link. We each grow. We learn. We change. We either move on or we stay together. Sharing that stuff can help all of us.”

The evening began like most night classes at TCU — with the students staring in silence. Even though most were nodding in agreement at Thornton’s comments, few were ready to get involved in the conversation.

Until he demanded stories, then the conversation came to life.

Laura McFarland/SKIFF STAFF Artis Thorton, director and advisor of the National Pan-Hellenic Council, speaks Wednesday night in the Student Center Lounge. Thorton moderated a discussion about finding and maintaining good relationships as part of the Black History Month celebration.

With humor and honesty students began to compare the qualities they look for in the perfect mate. They traded stories about their past and present relationships.

And the group agreed on one thing: If Relationships 101 came with a textbook, the first chapter would be titled “Communication: The key to success.”

Terrance White, a senior sociology major, said no relationship can survive without communication.

“The keep key to any successful relationship is being open and honest with each other,” he said. “If you don’t have that, it’s not worth it.”

Karen Bumblis, a senior speech communications major, said lies can be a relationship killer.

“If you and your partner don’t share the same intensity about the relationship, and you are keeping things from each other because you aren’t secure, that is a sure sign things need to end,” she said.

Although the group disagreed about whether guys and girls can be best friends without creating conflicts with their significant others, they unanimously agreed that the ideal mate should be your best friend.

“I think it’s possible for guys and girls to have best friends of the opposite sex,” said John Cantu, a junior international finance major. “But it takes a very secure relationship, for sure.”

Sara Donaldson, a junior neuroscience major, said as college-aged students it is often hard to understand the boundaries between a friendship and a relationship.

Donaldson said students often confide in the people they are most comfortable with, and when that person is of the opposite sex it makes things more complicated.

“When you pour out your emotions to someone it is easy to get caught up in that and allow things to escalate,” she said. “I’ve seen that happen so many times. I think it’s unfortunate and a sign of immaturity.”

Bumblis said the forum provided students a great opportunity to interact with one another and discuss the complexities of relationships openly.

“I think tonight was a perfect example of what we need more of,” she said. “We had a candid discussion. It was a good reflection of exactly what we were talking about tonight.”

Jaime Walker
j.l.walker@student.tcu.edu