Upperclassmen in one bar, underclassmen in another
COMMENTARY
Lauren Cates

Ahhhhh, the weekend. Finally a chance to relax, escape from studying and go out with friends. The beginning of the weekend is what every college student, tired from a long week, looks forward to. One would think that going out unhindered would be pretty easy and not entail that much effort. That is, if you don’t go to TCU.

Why is it different at TCU? Fort Worth offers a variety of social settings with fun and excitement around every corner. And due to the moderate size of TCU, there should be plenty of space for everyone to enjoy a good night out.

However, anyone claiming these opinions probably has never gone out or is a freshman in college. TCU is different because it seems that its students have a propensity to try to gather all at the same small location.

The result? Suffocation from body odor, intense thirst for a drink, cigarette burns, loss of friends/rides home, alcohol licenses revoked from good bars and the profound annoyance over the size of a crowd. These effects can be devastating.

“I received five cigarette burns last time I went out and couldn’t get a drink all night,” said Wesley Verna, a junior e-business and finance major. “You would think we could co-exist peacefully.”

The solution? Separation of labor, or more accurately, separation of places to go out according to classification. A little economics never hurt when applied to a social setting.

Seniors get the first pick of places to hang out because by the time you’re that old, you need a place to seclude yourself and remember the glory days. All your older friends have left you and joined the ranks of the new world, and you need a drink in peace and quiet in order to try to forget that soon you’ll have to graduate too.

Juniors have a choice between hanging out with underclassmen if necessary. They have the ability to exclude said underclassmen from social scenes they were not able to be a part of when they were underclassmen. This is called the rite of passage (i.e. hanging out at the Aardvark) and a certain number of hours must be paid as dues until underclassmen are permitted to join the ranks of upperclassmen-going-out status.

Sophomores can be annoyed at freshmen but maintain their superiority because of the one year of experience they’ve garnered. Freshmen have permission to monopolize all keg parties to the annoyance of upperclassmen.

“I think that going out would be much less stressful if people wouldn’t all go to the same place,” said Elizabeth Rickman, a junior history major. “Sometimes I have panic attacks from the lack of individuality.”

Separation by classification is the ideal way to rid people of the suffocation from the overpopulation of small social settings. It is not meant to be discriminatory, but is for the common good as it prevents people from being annoyed with each other. Then, the freak occurrence of overpopulation will be a welcome aberration, not a fact of life.

Lauren Cates is a junior advertising/public relations major from Houston.