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Wednesday, January 14, 2004
Frog Fountain
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Please, do touch that dial

In 2003, the music world was taken over by a new generation of pop. Pop has invaded every genre of music — from rap to rock to country — leaving us all fearing for the future of the music industry. Clear Channel Communications has come to dominate America’s airwaves, making it difficult to distinguish among stations, songs and artists. The following, however, are distinguished as the WORST of all.

Worst Songs:
1. Simple Plan — “Perfect”
2. Evanescence — “Wake me up...”
3. Baby Bash — “Suga Suga”
4. TATU —“Not Gonna Get Us”
5. Jewel — “Intuition”

Pop-punk exploded this year due to its popularity among 15-year-olds, even though it made most of us cringe. Britney Spears led the way for pop stars who cannot sing and her influence continued into 2003. Rappers still cannot spell. Russian lesbians teased us all at the MTV Video Music Awards and even established artists have sold their souls to the Pop Devil.

Worst Bands:
1. Simple Plan
2. Evanescence
3. Creed
4. Limp Bizkit
5. Puddle of Mudd

In 2003, four fans sued Creed for restitution for a concert they attended that they felt was a poor quality of the band’s performance. If that doesn’t sum up the fate of the music industry, then I don’t know what will. Well, maybe there are a few more examples that will show you.

Worst Radio Station:
Kiss 106.1

Worst Country Artist:
Shania Twain

Worst Video:
Anything involving Linkin Park

Worst Scandal:
Britney and Madonna’s famous kiss

Worst Music Trend:
American Idol

So, in conclusion, 2003 was a sad year for the music industry. The Pop Devil is determined to take all talent under its power. If this trend continues, something very, very bad will happen. I guess it could be worse; at least it’s not the 1980s.

– Cassie Fauss