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Wednesday, January 14, 2004
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Anxious, girls? Take initiative!

COMMENTARY
Jennifer Hall

Waiting.

And waiting.

And waiting some more.

Horrible isn’t it?

Waiting is unbearable, which is why I hate it.

What’s worse is sitting by the phone on a Saturday night waiting for a guy to call. I can’t think of anything more agonizing — or embarrassing for that matter.
Which is why a little over a year ago I got tired of it and took the initiative.
Yes ladies, I asked a guy out on a date.

A few of my friends supported my choice: “Good for you,” and “I only wish I had the courage” were just a few of the remarks I received. Others were along the line of, “Never, men should always ask out women, it’s just not right.”

The more I thought about it though, the more I realized that women really should take the chance and ask a man out. Times are changing, and they have been for quite some time. Besides, what harm could it do? If anything, it just makes the relationship move faster.

My reasoning behind this is that men just don’t get it. They never seem to know a girl is hitting on them until another girl points it out. If we sat around and waited on men our whole lives, nothing would ever get accomplished.

When I look back on the time I wasted and ask my boyfriend, “Why didn’t you just ask me out?” He replies, “I didn’t know you liked me.” Yikes.

I thought I made it obvious. I thought that by swishing my hair and touching his arm when he talked, he would get it. I thought that by constantly making my way into every conversation he was involved in, he would know. I thought that by complimenting him and remembering specifics about his life, he would catch on. The eye batting, the flirting, the laughing at his jokes, the question “so what are you doing this weekend?” would make him think, “Hey, she likes me, maybe I should ask her out.”

Nope, none of it worked. Which is a shame because I put a lot of work into those few weeks. Thank the Lord I actually took a chance and decided to take things into my own hands. When I had enough and was tired of waiing, I did it. I called him; a year later we are still together.

Despite my courage for the moment though, I was never that willing to put myself out there. I hated the Sadie Hawkins dance in middle school. Just the thought of having to ask a boy out made me want to run and hide.

Usually only the girls with boyfriends went to that dance. Their boy was already a built-in date. They never had to suffer the embarrassment of rejection.

Fortunately for most of us, we should have grown out of that phase. All it takes is a little mirror preparation, a mock asking-a-guy-out session with our best friend, maybe a little wine and voila! you’re ready. I know I rehearsed my approach several times before actually going through with it.

The fact is most guys I talk to would love it if a girl asked them out. They say it takes the pressure off. Hey, anything we can do to help.

What it comes down to is that I encourage all women to go out there and take the chance, ask a guy out. While you may not end up with a fulfilling relationship or even a good date for that matter, the bottom line is that you did it. You are one of the few who were gutsy enough to stand up and say, “I want you!”

So go out there, rouge your lips, wear your padded bra, and let him know you are independent, daring and that you always get what you want! And remember, don’t take no for an answer!

Jennifer Hall is a junior advertising/public relations major.